Monday, August 13, 2007

A Funny Parody Letter from Bill Gates

I got this one from Slashdot. This is very funny. This is a parody on Linus Torvalds' (creator of Linux OS) famous declaration of the birth of Linux.

From: William Gates [email blocked]
Subject: Costly kernel for IBM PC
Newsgroups: comp.os.cpm
Date: 5 Oct 81 05:41:06 GMT

William Henry Gates III

Do you pine for the nice days of CP/M-1.1, when men were men and wrote
their own device drivers? Do you have too much money in your pocket? Are
you much too free to do what you want with your computer? Are you
finding it frustrating when everything works on CP/M? No more rebooting your
computer every 10 minutes? Then this post might be just
for you

As I mentioned a month(?) ago, I've purchased a version of QDOS for a song
and I'm busy cocking it up and I'm going to sell it to IBM (suckers) for their
new PC. It has finally reached the stage where it's completely unstable and
most of the cooler things in CP/M have been removed.
I am willing to put out the binaries, for a price, for wider distribution. It is
just version 0.02 (+1 (very small) patch already), but I've successfully
run BASIC/lunar-lander/COMMAND.COM etc under it (oh boy!).

Sources for this pet project of mine are all mine mine mine! Unless you talk
to Tim Paterson from SCP. Full kernel source is most definitely not provided, as
I have swiped a lot of code from CP/M and QDOS, and anywhere else I could find it.
The system is able to compile "as-is" on alternating Tuesdays and when the moon is
full or on a spring tide, and has been known to work. At least once. Heh.
Sources are locked away in my underground lair, I mean a shack I just bought in a
small town in Washington called Redmond.

I can (well, almost) hear you asking yourselves "why?". The Amiga will be
out in a year (or two, or next month, who knows), and I've already got
CP/M and the Apple ][. Well, this is a program for business people by a businessman.
It's been real work and I expect to get paid for it!
Plus hackers and students can't really create anything worthwhile.
I'm going to hire really smart kids who don't know jack about computers
and give them a lot of stock options. It won't matter if they create shit.
We'll market the crap out of this thing! Once I get the hardware vendors to bundle it,
we're golden! It is the beginning of my plan to dominate the world!
Muwhahahaha! If you have any comments, please direct them to the guy
over there holding the chair in a threatening manner.

I'm also interested in hearing from anybody who has written any of the
utilities/library functions for CP/M. I'd like to steal them, I mean embrace/extend/extinguish,
I mean purchase them for a song, so I can add them to the system. If you
send it me, it becomes mine! And I'll patent it! Drop me
a line if you are willing to let me use your code.


PS. to STEVE BALLMER! I'm unable to get through to you, and keep getting
"forward error - hermanmiller unknown domain" or something. I think I've got
a job for you.

PPS. to the Homebrew Computer Club in Palo Alto -- I'm going to bury you guys!

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